Celebrating Dan Bates: Why do men have a hard time getting to know each other?

Lucy,

Yesterday, Mom and I attended a memorial service for Dan Bates, who passed away on May 2, 2020. With time, there is an opportunity to celebrate life without as much sadness and shock. That noted, we all miss Dan very much.

The celebration of Dan's life was at Westlake Hills Presbyterian, and titled "Service to the Resurrection and Thanksgiving for the of Witness the life of Daniel Joseph Bates, Sr."

The church was packed with family and friends, young and old. Dan's brother LJ (Little John), Tim Timmerman, and Dan's two kids (Daniel and Francis) shared thoughts on Dan, and all did a beautiful job. I was struck by how they all talked about things I knew well about Dan (avid baseball and sports fan, hard-working CPA, a person who cared deeply about others, quick-witted) from years of golfing together. I was also saddened to learn so many interesting things about Dan I did not know. For example, Dan was a writer and wrote a series of letters to his family titled, 'Dear Kathy' and a comical recap of Daniel's baseball games, titled 'Otherside of the Universe.' He was also a man of deep faith and a Sunday School teacher for years. I am not sure we ever discussed that?

I am asking why men often have a hard time really learning about each other and sharing their deepest thoughts? At least golf (or hunting or fishing) puts us together for 9 or 18 holes, and we have a chance to learn a bit more, but we often still keep things fairly hidden.

Here's Dan's obituary where you can learn more.

Rest in peace Dan Bates and we got a lot to talk about one day!

Dad

London Calling

Great fun in Sayulita, Mexico, attending the wedding of family friend Allie (Anderson) and Rawley Lind. Allie is the oldest of four girls and we raised seven girls together with the Andersons. We were blessed to have our entire family with us, spending quality time with the kids, the Andersons, and special friends from Austin. Photos below.

In other news, I have officially accepted an enterprise sales assignment (with Autodesk) based in the UK, starting September 1. The role covers key manufacturing accounts in the English Midlands and up into the Nordics.

Cathy and I will transition on August 1 and take the month to explore villages south of London to find our new home. We will be a short train ride away from Sally and Taylor (Chelsea) and near Heathrow for easy travel around Europe. We are excited to meet new friends, explore new cultures, and learn through new business challenges.

I Knew Harvey Invitational Golf and Dinner

 
Thanks to everyone who made 'I Knew Harvey Invitational' a fun day of golf and an enjoyable dinner with spouses, celebrating Harvey's legacy. Special shout out to Dale and his team for allowing the four foursomes to play the front nine twice (after the storm wreaked havoc on the back nine the night before.) Also, many thanks to Jordan Meyers in catering (along with Chef Bob) for making the dinner so amazing.

Appreciate Tom Forbes from the ACC Legacy Committee updating everyone on club plans to better display our history. Below is an iPhone clip of my Ode to Harvey (Lucky) toast, and I'll post the words as well. It was fun to write. I hope it successfully celebrated Harvey's legacy and reminded everyone of how lucky we are to belong to Austin Country Club.

Congrats to Team Stuart's Kitchen Sinks for the overall victory, Team Messi-roll the Rock Squad for winning the front nine, and to all who won skins, especially Whitlock. (-; Thanks, Master-of-the-Games (Hop), for keeping up with it all!

And special thanks for the signed ‘A Course Called America’ by Tom Coyne. Don’t miss reading this book. You will all love it. 

Ode to Harvey (Lucky)

Those who knew Harvey

will reflect and reminisce

about the time

he said this

or that.

So simple,

yet so profound.

The ground.

The ground,

around this place

this beautiful club.

This Pete Dye golf course

so steeped

in Harvey lore.

Quotes galore . . .

All golfers know

To “Take Dead Aim.”

Because “Golf is a game

for everyone

not just the talented few.”

But those of us

who spew

our shots through

the morning dew.

We long for the day

when our game

is in one piece

when our game is

at peace.

I am told . . .

Harvey had this

uncanny way

of making it

so simple.

"Just one aspirin,

please sir

Not the whole damn bottle!"

We try to throttle

our enthusiasm for this place

sometimes all worked up

all bent out of shape

over, over-seeding

for example

just a sample

of how easy it is

to forget

how lucky we are.

“Go to dinner

with good putters.”

He told his players.

“The woods are full

of long drivers.”

"If you play poorly one day

forget it

If you play poorly the next

Review your fundamentals

grip, stance, aim

ball position

If you play poorly

a third time

in a row,

go see your pro!"

And those of us

who know

this game of golf.

We owe

so much of our

happiness

our very soul

to this man

our beloved first pro

who helped

the game 

grow, and grow.

 

For me, my favorite

Harvey quip

It is not about the grip

Or how to chip

Or a swing tip

But rather

simply this:

“If you play golf

you are my friend.”

Indeed!

All of you

are my friends.

The game connects us

in ways

you cannot understand

until you stand

over that

little white ball.

So, stand tall

fellow members

and friends.

Remember always

how lucky we are

how high the bar

when the club

we call Austin

is our home.

And the home

of our very own

Gentle, kind, wise . . .

Harvey.

Stuart's Kitchen Sinks

Sillers

Olssen

Stuart

Healy

Messi-roll the Rock Squad 

Meserole

Utley

Hillhouse

Senterfitt

Whitlock’s Jocks

Singletary

Hopke

Bybee

Whitlock

JT’s Jammer Slammers

Atwell

Beiter

Costello

Thomas

Letters to Harvey from The Kingdom:

• Dear Harvey: Bucket list month of July 🎾 ⛳️🏆
• Dear Harvey: Portsmouth UK & Hayling GC ⚓️ 🐚 🚀 ⛳️ 🕵🏼‍♀️
• Dear Harvey: On business in Spain (Parador de El Saler GC) ⛵️🍤🍷🏌️‍♀️🏖
• Dear Harvey: St. Enodoc Golf Club - Church Course (Cornwall) ⛳️ ⛪️ 🎢
• Dear Harvey: Trevose Golf & Country Club (Cornwall) 🏌️‍♂️⚓️🦈
• Dear Harvey: Ernie Els or Ernie the Milk Man 🥛🍼🥛
• Dear Harvey: Grateful is the right word (#GDTBATH)
• Dear Harvey: (Uncle Charlie) McDowell trumped by (Great Uncle Fred) McLeod
• Dear Harvey: The Jack Burke Sr. Golf Legacy Tree
• Dear Harvey: gPage-A-Palooza 2022
• Dear Harvey: The Stage Golfing Society (London)
• Dear Harvey: First Woman Captain (The Richmond Golf Club)
• A couple of gems: Muirfield and North Berwick
• Tube to Tee: Sudbury Golf Club
• Hugging Harvey Goodbye and off to London for a Bit

Other 'golfy' scribblings:

• I Knew Harvey Invitational Golf and Dinner + Ode to Harvey (tribute poem)
• Dear Harvey: "Up against a kid" by Bo Links (slightly modified for gender)
• Dear Harvey: Life is long if you know how to use it
• Stay Whole Tuesday: Stillness, Rome, Herb Brooks, and Harvey Penick
• Patty Sheehan: "Some kind of peacefulness about what you are doing."
• Oscillate, as in Oscillating Dynamic Variable Resistance
• All bets are won or lost on the first tee
• 5.5.05 - 5.5.20 It has been 15 (Bart Star) years since I wrote this . . . Stay Whole!
• Pete Dye (1925 - 2020)
• Dear Harvey: Ace on 16
• Swing sequence - 4th of July (thanks, Emily)
• Fit as a Fiddle Friday: Deceleration with Tom Kite
• My Flat Ass Fitness Rules (12 of them)
• Rudy's 360 boys with Tom Kite - two-time NCAA champions!
• Roane Puett: Austin CC Legendary Golf Member and Friend
• It's complicated: A special video clip from Emily's college golf experience
• Celebrating Dan Bates: Why do men have a hard time getting to know each other?

"Millions of people were charmed by the homespun golf advice dispensed in Harvey Penick's Little Red Book, a sports classic that became the best-selling sports book of all time. Yet, beyond the Texas golf courses where Penick happily toiled for the better part of eight decades, few people knew the self-made golf pro who coaxed the best out of countless greats -- Tom Kite, Ben Crenshaw, Betsy Rawls, Mickey Wright -- all champions who considered Penick their coach and lifelong friend." - Kevin Robbins, author of Harvey Penick: The Life and Wisdom of the Man Who Wrote the Book on Golf.

"And if you play golf, you are my friend." - Harvey Penick

Fairway to Table - Chef Bob and Dale Morgan

Hey nugs,

I've enjoyed serving on the House Committee at Austin CC this year and the chance to get to know our Executive Chef, Bob Burns. He is a wealth of knowledge about any foods, especially farm-to-table, as well as wild game. Below are a couple of clips from a featured piece on The Golf Channel, called Fairway to Table:

"In Texas, everything is bigger--the golf and the food! A self-professed “hunter-gatherer”, Austin Country Club Executive Chef Bob Burns has dedicated his life to culinary—after 42 years in the private club industry, he develops Austin’s enhanced menu with prime beef, direct-sourced seafood, wild game, and premium vegetables. Host and Executive Chef Michael Ponzio, uncover the life of culinary in club fare as Chef Bob Burns, flexes his culinary creativity, as he introduces us to his Asian-inspired Texas Brisket with Korean Quinoa, Fried Brown Rice, Goujang, & Duck Egg. Later, Chef Ponzio rolls up his sleeves and takes to the streets of one of Austin’s barbecue landmarks at Louie Mueller Barbecue, together with 3rd Generation Pitmaster, Wayne Mueller—as they build one of the iconic platters—his dinosaur bone in short rib, beef brisket, and pork sausage." 

You can see the entire piece here. This link requires a Golf Pass membership or sign up for a 7-day free trial. I know the talented cooks in my family will enjoy this.

Love,

Dad

Two for Emily - Happy 27th Birthday

Sally:

I love how Emily sees positives in everyone and can get along with just about anyone. She is so approachable and kind to all who cross her path. Her easy-going nature puts everyone at ease. I can never get enough of Emily in my life and am so lucky she is my sister and best friend!

I love and am so proud of how Emily has found the perfect nitch for herself in Austin at Yeti. She is already killing it, and I have no doubt she will continue to succeed as she grows with the company. I love how Emily has stayed true to herself in her career and otherwise. She is 100% her authentic self all the time, and that is such an incredible achievement! 

Lucy:

Meme is my best friend!! I love how we get to do life so much more closely these past couple of years and all of our crazy ideas, workouts, and adventures! She’s my partner in crime in Austin for all things food, exercise, fun, clothes, travel, and more. I am so thankful to be just around the corner, and I can’t wait to spend more time with your big sister!

There are really so many things I love about Emily. She’s so talented, hard-working, laidback, FUN, hilarious, and truly the glue that holds our family together. I don’t know what I would do without her wisdom and advice. She makes me laugh continuously and is always encouraging me in everything I do. I love getting to follow in her footsteps and hope I’m more like Emily as I grow up! LOVE U MEME :) 

Taylor:

It’s fun to have a college athlete in the family. I really enjoy telling Brits that my sister-in-law played college golf because they immediately perk up and listen. Emily is a natural golfer but, for me, a really natural point of pride. 

Emily is really supportive of Sally and all she wants to do. She is a great sister and always offers Sal a listening ear and a story to swap. She, in turn, is fun to watch with her experience at Yeti, which is a really cool job. Can’t wait to see where it takes her, and I’m hopeful into international dealings. 

Cathy:

Emily makes me smile every day! She finds joy and humor in life and always has a funny story to share. I look forward to and appreciate our daily chats as she walks Kevin through her downtown neighborhood. Emily, you are a beacon of light that we are all lucky to have in our life. You are a loving daughter, sister, girlfriend, and mama to Kevin.

Emily is organized and smart. She has jumped into uncharted territory at Yeti with confidence and grace. She is always there to keep me focused and on task. She can maintain a calm presence throughout any storm. She organizes dinner parties, is our family 'Santa' every year, and keeps me focused when needed. Thanks for all you do, Emily!

She is very good at directing me around Austin while I drive her on her Yeti errands.

Dad:

I am amazed at Emily's career trajectory and how she excels at so many tangible and intangible things. It warms my heart as a dad to think back to the night Emily asked us if she could go to an art school. The path that lead Emily to SCAD is a remarkable story, and she should be super proud of how she used golf and SCAD to launch a career in apparel production and design. To get the opportunity to represent a brand as cool as YETI is even more reason to be excited for Emily.

I can't wait for Emily to possibly be a member of ACC, so we can find time to play golf together again. Time on the golf course with Emily is one of my favorite things to do. And I am pretty sure I hit it out there a 'little bit' farther these days, so she better get back to working on her game!

Kyle:

It is crazy to think that last year on Emily's 26th birthday, she worked for Consuela. For “Her Two,” last year, I wrote how impressed I was with her work ethic now that I got to see her bring her work home during quarantine. Thinking back on what has been the longest year ever to where she currently is at her new job with YETI, I am beyond impressed with what she has done recently. From staying on late to pitch the Australian team, the new line of clothes took over and ran the whole damn thing when her coworker was out on maternity leave. I am very proud of where she is in her career so quickly and so proud of how hard she works at it. YETI currently Trades at $81.42; when Emily started there, it was at $26.17. it is up 211% since she started! That is some serious correlation, but if you ask me, it's most likely causation.  

One of the best qualities about Emily is she sticks with me through everything. Leaving New York for Austin on a whim? She is coming. Decide to quit your job in the middle of the night because you are miserable and cannot go another day? She supports it. Get too drunk with your new boss and blackout on a Tuesday at 6pm? She takes care of me. So, when people tell me I am crazy to get up at 3:30 in the morning for work or ask me how it is possible, remember this, it is for Emily. It is amazing how easy it becomes when you have a motive. Every morning when I say goodbye to her, I know I am doing it for her and for the better life she deserves and will eventually have. 

Happy 27th and Happy 4th anniversary!

Happy Birthday Kyle from every Singletary (and Wilkinson) one of us

Taylor: 

Kyle enjoys that we’ve moved to London as much as we do. He’s introduced us to Sporting Page and many of 'Texas Jay’s' favorites. I really appreciate that he is all in on our London experience and helping to make it the best it can be. 

I also like that Kyle works London hours. We have time to communicate when I don’t get much from anyone else and appreciate his texts that come early in the day. I don’t get much from the US that early so it’s nice to have someone to communicate with. 

Cathy: 

I love how Kyle shows his generosity and kindness by preparing and sharing delicious food with others. It is always a treat to have a meal prepared by Kyle and he is super fun to cook with and try new things. He should own a restaurant one day after Park Walk owns the world.

I appreciate how Kyle absorbs our family. It is not easy to be everything a family of mostly women expects you to be. Thank you, Kyle, for meeting most of our demands but feeling comfortable saying “no” when it gets to be just a little too much!

Lucy:

I love Kyle’s sense of humor! He is always keeping us laughing and entertained. He definitely spices up our lives, and it is so fun!

I love how Kyle is so hardworking and driven. I have never met anyone so committed, even in the most difficult work hours and jobs. Kyle is going to do huge things!

Sally:

I love how Kyle treats everyone in our family like his own family. I love that he shows that he loves us by organizing Covid vaccines, cooking delicious food, checking on UK travel restrictions, etc. He is on top of his game and always willing to help out. 

I love how Kyle makes an effort to call and check in with T. Whenever I hear them talking, it makes me happy. Emily and I are so lucky to have significant others that get along so well. I can't wait for Trey to join the mix! Kyle, you do a great job representing the outlaws in Austin and we are proud to call you family!

Page:

Kyle gives me joy, laughter, and much to ponder. Whether he is feeding me valuable information about my clients (EA especially) or just business or sports news in general, Kyle is a wealth of knowledge and always there to help me understand complex things, like a possible move across the pond!

Kyle is like our families 12th man. He is not quite on the team, at least not officially, but he is ready to get in the game at any time and he always gives his all. Whether a spirited debate, an opportunity to fix something broken, a meal to cook, or a chipping green contest, Kyle goes all in and brings his A game every day.

Emily:

I love Kyle’s determination. Whether it is finding the career that is best for him, cooking a bomb-ass meal for multiple people, or cleaning the patio— he always gives 110%. He is a risk-taker and elaborate more: I am very proud of him for finding a job where he is surrounded by people who build him up and want the best for him. He is an AMAZING cook, and he knows it. And I love how the patio turned out. I’m happy he keeps our little patio so clean and can’t wait to see what he does with a landscaped lawn one day.

While some may feel that Kyle is constantly stirring the pot, I’m not sure what I’d do without the entertainment and the certainty that Kyle brings to the table. Kyle challenges me to pay attention, learn,, and never doubt that he knows the strangest little facts. I love to watch Kyle converse with other people, and their faces go from shock to laughter as they try to figure out what he is all about. Happy Birthday AND 4th anniversary to the wild-card Yankee who keeps the Singletary’s on their toes.

Kevin:

Kyle is the ultimate dog owner. When he holds me or walks me or sleeps with me, I know he truly loves me.

When I fell off the windowsill and shattered my leg in eight places, Kyle told me to quit acting like a cat and get up and walk like a man. (Emily took me to the vet, thank goodness!)

Fit as a Fiddle Friday: Win Reality and Resolve

Hey Lucy,

Excited to see you later today on Fit as a Fiddle Friday. Be safe driving home.

I'm celebrating my friend, and mentee, Andrew Bourdillon, and talking virtual reality, which seems to be finding its place in the world! I met South African, Andrew, on the putting green after hearing his accent. It turns out his fiance knew Sally at Westlake. Andrew later helped Sally and Taylor with some guidance on their move to England, as he worked for Deloitte in London. I was able to make several connections for Andrew, helping him network in the Austin VC world. While he finishes his MBA, he has partnered up with Win Reality to provide financial guidance. Check it out. Game-changing stuff and Andrew is a rising star in the business world!

Coincidently, I've been talking Oculus headsets and VR all week with customers. Autodesk technology partner, Resolve, led by Angel Say is leading the way with BIM-connected VR, helping owners take control of projects, engineers avoid late-stage change requests, and contractors get jobs done without surprises!

Below is a nice note from Andrew, plus a custom headcover that meant a lot to me.

Love,

Dad