Sally,
Your mom and I kept dating each other after that birthday picnic in Mendocino. I moved to Aspen and she was living with her parents in Macon. I traveled extensively for my work and it was easy for us to see each other on weekends and holidays. We spent time in amazing places, like Crested Butte, Taos, Hilton Head, Lake Tahoe, Sanibel Island and others. The more we were together, the more I knew that she was the girl of my dreams.
In July of 1987 she came to Aspen for an extended stay. She was going to take 5 weeks to see how she felt about our relationship. We had a great time, but during her visit she decided to take an open ended backpacking trip to Europe with my friend Sara Beth Jones. I was happy that she was going to get to take a once in a lifetime trip, but I felt it was best if we ended our relationship. She came to Aspen to see if we should be together, and it seemed (at least to me) that she was not able to answer that question. So we broke up.
It was during the time that mom was in Europe that she decided she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She had no idea whether or not I would still be available, but she knew she wanted me back. I am sharing this story because I believe that (sometimes) the only way you can know what you want in a relationship, is to not be in a relationship.
We were seven years older (at that time) then you are now, so in some ways things were different for us. We had each dated several other people and even been in fairly serious relationships. We also had spent quite a bit of time dating many different people and not being in a serious relationship. These experiences contributed to who we were, by the time fate put us together.
I am not trying to sound like some kind of 'wise old father' speaking to his precious daughter, but I do hope to impart on all of my girls the importance of two things: (1) 'freedom' and 'space' in relationships; and (2) the importance of independence and spending time alone, not in a serious relationship.
And by-the-way, I know you already understand this and I am very proud of you!
Love,
Dad
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