Paul Graham: The Top Idea in Your Mind (Do you have attention sinks?)

Hey girls and guys, 

I found the space to dive into another powerful essay from Paul Graham. Please find 15 minutes to read and think about this.

The Top Idea in Your Mind. YouTube narration here.

“There's a kind of thinking you do without trying to. I'm increasingly convinced this type of thinking is not merely helpful in solving hard problems but necessary. The tricky part is, you can only control it indirectly.”

In short, this essay is about the importance of the top idea in your mind. If you want to know that idea, "just take a shower!"

Some key takeaways:

• Fundraising for a startup is compared to the challenge of doing the work needed to drive the startup forward. (Been there, done that!)
• The Nile Perch reference: Have you ever been so worked up over something you can't see the forest for the trees? And while being worked up, do you harm or ignore the things that matter most? (Yep, this, too, has been me! See postscript for more on The Nile Perch.)
• The all-consuming power money can have on us, and how that is the same power we lose when we obsess over disputes or wrong-doings. (The second part of this takeaway is a powerful topic in and of itself.)

"Getting money is almost by definition an attention sink. The other is disputes. These too are engaging in the wrong way: they have the same velcro-like shape as genuinely interesting ideas, but without the substance. So avoid disputes if you want to get real work done."

How do you respond when someone has caused you harm? Are you hurt once or hurt twice?

"Someone who does you an injury hurts you twice: first by the injury itself, and second by taking up your time afterward thinking about it. If you learn to ignore injuries you can at least avoid the second half. I've found I can to some extent avoid thinking about nasty things people have done to me by telling myself: this doesn't deserve space in my head. I'm always delighted to find I've forgotten the details of disputes, because that means I hadn't been thinking about them.

Hope you get a chance to read.

Dad

P.S. "Nile perch were introduced to Lake Victoria in the 1950s to boost the fishing industry. The introduction caused an economic boom but also drove hundreds of species of native cichlids to near-extinction." [ref. Impact of an Invasive Species]

Dear Harvey: A nice gesture from a top-notch young man, Guy Liljenwall

Hanging with Harvey on the practice tee.

Dear Harvey,

It has simply been too long. I have many golf stories for you, including a magical summer of 2023 after I last wrote from Cornwall. Dear Harvey: Chasing Scratch (in Cornwall) 🏌️‍♂️⚓️⛳️⛵️☀️ - June 1, 2023.

I will be back in touch about the golf trip of all golf trips to Ireland with Uncle Charlie McDowell and his friends (in July) and an equally magical trip to St. Andrews (in August) to visit Ginny and Steve Booton and take on The Old Course. Plus, several other memorable loops around the London area, including Walton Heath Golf Club, which hosted the 2023 Women's Open Championship, a return to Swinley Forest Golf Club, and another crack at the spectacular Woking Golf Club. It would be hard to find three better heathland courses, but that will not stop me from trying! I am absolutely in love with golf in England. My American mates need to know England is every bit as magical and special when it comes to golf courses as the more popular Ireland or Scotland trips.

Do you remember when we lost Eric Liljenwall suddenly and at way too young of an age? Shortly after his death, I spent quality time with Eric's youngest son, Guy, shuttling him to junior golf tournaments and caddying for him. We were a good match, as Emily had left for her University golf career in Savannah, and Guy needed a caddy. I was the man for the job, though far from the excellent player his father was. 

I heard from Guy this afternoon via text message. It warmed my heart to know he saved this note and took the time to share it back with me. Guy is on his way to a successful career in commercial real estate after graduating from the University of Arkansas.

"Hey Mr. Singletary, this is Guy Liljenwall. I had found an old letter you have given me, when we used to play in tournaments together. Started reminiscing about those golf tournaments. I hope you and your family are well!"

And Guy later sent this, which Emily will love:

Shout out to dear friend @Andres Gonzales, who taught me the simple putting drills using a six-inch ruler as an alignment aid. 

I am in a sales meeting this week in Sitges, Spain. Check out my view this morning from my room. (The rest of the day was all training in a crowded conference room, but at least I had the morning view.) 

And then Guy's text messages made my day!

A lot to learn in Spain, but these lights are not the same as the Sitges sunshine above!

Take good care, Harvey, and tell Eric hello.

gPage

The 'Guy' in the middle with the first-place flag must have had a great caddy!

Letters to Harvey from The Kingdom:

• Dear Harvey: Chasing Scratch (in Cornwall) 🏌️‍♂️⚓️⛳️⛵️☀️
• Dear Harvey: Stick-to-it-ness, Tattoos, and the Supernatural
• Dear Harvey: Thanks, Austin CC, for an amazing wedding (Emily & Kyle)
• Dear Harvey: WGC Dell Technologies Match Play (7 times and a wrap!)

• Dear Harvey: Bucket list month of July 🎾 ⛳️🏆
• Dear Harvey: Portsmouth UK & Hayling GC ⚓️ 🐚 🚀 ⛳️ 🕵🏼‍♀️
• Dear Harvey: On business in Spain (Parador de El Saler GC) ⛵️🍤🍷🏌️‍♀️🏖
• Dear Harvey: St. Enodoc Golf Club - Church Course (Cornwall) ⛳️ ⛪️ 🎢
• Dear Harvey: Trevose Golf & Country Club (Cornwall) 🏌️‍♂️⚓️🦈
• Dear Harvey: Ernie Els or Ernie the Milk Man 🥛🍼🥛
• Dear Harvey: Grateful is the right word (#GDTBATH)
• Dear Harvey: (Uncle Charlie) McDowell trumped by (Great Uncle Fred) McLeod
• Dear Harvey: The Jack Burke Sr. Golf Legacy Tree
• Dear Harvey: gPage-A-Palooza 2022
• Dear Harvey: The Stage Golfing Society (London)
• Dear Harvey: First Woman Captain (The Richmond Golf Club)
• A couple of gems: Muirfield and North Berwick
• Tube to Tee: Sudbury Golf Club
• Hugging Harvey Goodbye and off to London for a Bit

Other 'golfy' scribblings:

• I Knew Harvey Invitational Golf and Dinner + Ode to Harvey (tribute poem)
• Dear Harvey: "Up against a kid" by Bo Links (slightly modified for gender)
• Dear Harvey: Life is long if you know how to use it
• Stay Whole Tuesday: Stillness, Rome, Herb Brooks, and Harvey Penick
• Patty Sheehan: "Some kind of peacefulness about what you are doing."
• Oscillate, as in Oscillating Dynamic Variable Resistance
• All bets are won or lost on the first tee
• 5.5.05 - 5.5.20 It has been 15 (Bart Star) years since I wrote this . . . Stay Whole!
• Pete Dye (1925 - 2020)
• Dear Harvey: Ace on 16
• Swing sequence - 4th of July (thanks, Emily)
• Fit as a Fiddle Friday: Deceleration with Tom Kite
• My Flat Ass Fitness Rules (12 of them)
• Rudy's 360 boys with Tom Kite - two-time NCAA champions!
• Roane Puett: Austin CC Legendary Golf Member and Friend
• It's complicated: A special video clip from Emily's college golf experience
• Celebrating Dan Bates: Why do men have a hard time getting to know each other?

"Millions of people were charmed by the homespun golf advice dispensed in Harvey Penick's Little Red Book, a sports classic that became the best-selling sports book of all time. Yet, beyond the Texas golf courses where Penick happily toiled for the better part of eight decades, few people knew the self-made golf pro who coaxed the best out of countless greats -- Tom Kite, Ben Crenshaw, Betsy Rawls, Mickey Wright -- all champions who considered Penick their coach and lifelong friend." - Kevin Robbins, author of Harvey Penick: The Life and Wisdom of the Man Who Wrote the Book on Golf.

Make it a Great YEAR: 2024!

Good morning, hoot hoot children,

You have a telegram from your father. 

I penned Mum a ditty called 'BETTER TOGETHER' and typed the footnote on my new portable Royal (iOS v1.0.) The one that sailed across the Atlantic. 

A special Xmas gift from my secret Santa, Lucy May. It's a carbon copy of my Grandfather Singletary's Royal, only smaller. The iPad of yesteryear! Well done, LuLu. 

I miss Kyle's notes. The ones he typed for me on the larger Royal, that remains in the closet in ATX. MIGM - The sun did come up (sort of)

As is my tradition on New Years Day, for the goal-setters and those who prefer to simply wing it, I share my favorite quote and whole-person diagram below. Plus a link to some New Year's goal-setting Nuggets for those who choose to go deeper.

But first, here's the poem and a couple of photos of Mum's new swag . . .

Swinley Forest Golf Club

Happy New Year: My gift to you

And a final thought 

in form of a verse

Let’s all make 2024,

as good or better, 

than any before.

And maybe Collins 

has it all right, 

a calm, uncluttered mind,  

the type 

of peace, 

we all should find. 🙏🙏🙏

God bless our family,

Dad (gPa)

Sad news in Tar Heel land on MiaGM

Hey peeps,

We lost a special member of the Tar Heel family yesterday in Chapel Hill. 

Eric Montross was a fabulous player, but read this article to learn about what he meant to his family and to the community.

Here's a great short from the article: 

Eric never thought about a legacy. In that way, he was the embodiment of Dean Smith's admonition, "You should never be proud of doing the right thing. You should just do the right thing."

Hope all are making it a great Monday, and doing the right thing!

Go Heels,

Dad

Make Anything Thursday: Countdown for LuLu and Trey

You can't birdie them all if you don't birdie the first, so they say. And you can't start nuggets back if you don't post on Make Anything Thursday after you posted Woman Power Wednesday: Collins Catherine Wilkinson. Right, Collins?

I know you agree and think it is all about you these days, but guess what? Your Aunt Lucy is getting married in 204 days, 1 hour, and 2 minutes. That's right, gPa made a countdown timer, and you can see it here and on my Blogger site on the right-hand side when on a computer, not a phone.

You can also access Lucy and Trey's well-done wedding website through this link or the blogger site above the countdown. Exciting stuff, Collins. If you want to learn more about how Lucy and Trey got engaged, you might enjoy Happy Birthday and welcome Trey! 💍🎉.

Woman Power Wednesday: Collins Catherine Wilkinson

About the size of a jumbo peanut

Hello Nugs,

It has been a while, but we have a new nugget. Welcome to the world, Collins! Let's start with your birthday affirmations.

Two for Collins:

1. You are a perfect little angel. 6.5 lbs at birth on the wee morning of the 7th of December.

2. You gave us quite a little scare with your 48-hour visit to the NICU, but in the end, you were okay. You passed your first life test with flying colors.

Medically speaking, after a lovely first 12 hours, you tossed up some green bile, the quickest way to find yourself en route to a different part of Chelsea Westminster. We learned of something called volvulus due to malrotation, or in layman's terms, a plumbing problem. This is an emergency and can be a serious situation. You got the all-clear after two days of testing and excellent medical care.

Sally, Taylor, and baby Collins came home two nights ago, and Collins has settled into a routine with help from her night nurse and namesake, Grandma Peach. Sally also doing well after c-section delivery. Patterns are predictable, and they repeat!

God bless our Collins and her remarkable parents. She can't wait to meet the rest of her family!

Some photos below, plus a poem I wrote titled Collins First Christmas.

Happy Birthday Taylor

Sally: Happy Birthday to T! I love how Taylor continues improving himself and the world around him. He works hard daily to set himself up for success - professionally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. He does all of this quietly, but it doesn't go unnoticed; he inspires me and those around him daily. Taylor is kind, open-minded, and generous - all qualities I know he will pass down to our son or daughter, and I couldn't be more proud of that. Watching T become a dad will be one of my life's greatest privileges and gifts; we are so lucky.

Cathy: I am so excited that Taylor and Sally will have a baby! Taylor is kind, generous, loving, attentive, intelligent, hard-working, and faithful. He has all the qualities to be a wonderful Dad and role model to his children. Taylor is also very inclusive of our family and means something special to each of us. Thank you, Taylor, for being the man you are. Happy Birthday, and I love you.

Lucy: One thing I love about T is that he loves us all so well - and he doesn't have to. We are his in-laws. But Taylor somehow finds a way to not just tolerate our crazy but really embrace the whole crew. From spending countless hours helping C&P get acclimated to London and navigate the city to allowing the sisters to take over the entirety of his tiny flat and even getting ordained to officiate E&K's ceremony! T is always beyond patient, kind, and loving to us! Taylor, I can't wait to watch you love and raise that baby because if you can put up with us - you can handle anything!! Happy Birthday!

Trey: I love Taylor's attitude toward life and others and look up to him for that. If there's ever an opportunity to lend a helping hand or get to know someone, Taylor will do that. I also admire how hard he works in his career. I know Taylor will continue to be very successful throughout his life. He is a great man, and I look forward to spending many more moments with him throughout the years. Happy Birthday, T!

Emily: Taylor is the perfect balance of an organized planner and is so much fun! He is always down to have a drink when we visit or meet Kyle at the pub. I can't wait to see Taylor become a Dad to little Willy! I'm so thankful to T for being our officiant at our wedding. He was the perfect person for the job. Kyle and I were so comforted by him, and the ceremony was perfect because of his fantastic delivery. Happy Birthday, Taylor!

Kyle: I am so glad we had you officiate our wedding. I have heard nothing but glowing remarks about how well you did from all that attended. It was an honor to have you stand with Emily and me on our wedding day, and I love that I get to have you as a brother-in-law. Happy Birthday, and here’s to many more fun moments together throughout our lives.

gPage: What a joy to have Taylor as a son-in-law. I appreciate how Taylor is always so present when we meet for dinner, whether the four of us or with other friends. He shows up, listens, and shows others he cares. It is a great trait. I also love how Taylor has embraced England. Making new friends, attending sporting events, playing golf, hiking, etc. T is a gamer!